Have you ever felt just, well, bla? Not horribly sick, but not horribly well. Not really depressed, but not perky and peppy either – just kind of, well, bla?
That’s how I feel. It’s allergy season, and as I do every year, I’ve been battling these allergies and I’m sick of it. Allergies seem like such a minor complaint. I know people who are truly sick, so how I can moan about allergies? Yet, it’s amazing to me every year just how debilitating allergies can be.
I am currently taking a TON of allergy medicine and it makes me sleepy. The alternative, however, is hives and even more asthma problems. I’m already having several coughing fits a day that last 20 to 30 minutes at a time. It almost feels as though my insides are having a spasm of sorts, like I’m vibrating and it makes me cough. When I finish one of those coughing fits sometimes they are so bad I feel as though I have to throw up. If not, I feel worn out, like a wrung out dish rag. Then, later, I’m fine. Go figure.
My nose runs all the time. With medicine I just blow it a few times an hour, as opposed to constantly. My head constantly feels congested and my ears constantly pop as though I’m on an airplane.
The sore spot under my stoma, thankfully, doesn’t seem to be bleeding, but it’s about the size of a quarter and it’s purple, like a bruise. It doesn’t hurt though, except when you try to clean it. Fingers crossed it says that way. For a bit there I was having code browns galore.
Today I missed my art class yet again. They’re going to think I dropped it. I got a letter in the mail from my insurance company saying that they are going to drop me at the end of the month. Now, this could just be a clerical error, but since my life revolves around coverage, I’ve been on edge all day. I had been told that if social security found me disabled (which they did last Feb.) that I would be able to carry my COBRA until I’m eligible for Medicare.
My old company has a new HR person and she only works two days a week. What if the old HR person told me wrong?
I can reapply for Medicaid, and I might get it this time as I might be able to even qualify for SSI as my assets have been so spent down – but Medicaid is a sort of trap. It pretty much would prohibit me even more than I am already from trying to earn a little extra on the side. Yet, without additional income, how am I supposed to pay co-pays on 17 meds and medical supplies? It’s a sort of catch 22. Until I get it resolved, I’m going to be a wreck, and I bet the new lady doesn’t work on Fridays…..I probably won’t be able to do anything about this until next week.
I guess this is partly why I feel bla……..sometimes it’s hard knowing nothing in your life will be normal and you have to play these silly government games to just stay healthy. Outsiders don’t understand. They have their careers and buy houses and have kids and do all of these normal things that everyone does, and when you’re not like that, they assume your lazy, or a freak of some sort. It’s hard not to feel inadequate.
I find myself being a bit socially withdrawn for that reason. I know I need to get over it. Bla Bla Bla……
That’s how I feel. It’s allergy season, and as I do every year, I’ve been battling these allergies and I’m sick of it. Allergies seem like such a minor complaint. I know people who are truly sick, so how I can moan about allergies? Yet, it’s amazing to me every year just how debilitating allergies can be.
I am currently taking a TON of allergy medicine and it makes me sleepy. The alternative, however, is hives and even more asthma problems. I’m already having several coughing fits a day that last 20 to 30 minutes at a time. It almost feels as though my insides are having a spasm of sorts, like I’m vibrating and it makes me cough. When I finish one of those coughing fits sometimes they are so bad I feel as though I have to throw up. If not, I feel worn out, like a wrung out dish rag. Then, later, I’m fine. Go figure.
My nose runs all the time. With medicine I just blow it a few times an hour, as opposed to constantly. My head constantly feels congested and my ears constantly pop as though I’m on an airplane.
The sore spot under my stoma, thankfully, doesn’t seem to be bleeding, but it’s about the size of a quarter and it’s purple, like a bruise. It doesn’t hurt though, except when you try to clean it. Fingers crossed it says that way. For a bit there I was having code browns galore.
Today I missed my art class yet again. They’re going to think I dropped it. I got a letter in the mail from my insurance company saying that they are going to drop me at the end of the month. Now, this could just be a clerical error, but since my life revolves around coverage, I’ve been on edge all day. I had been told that if social security found me disabled (which they did last Feb.) that I would be able to carry my COBRA until I’m eligible for Medicare.
My old company has a new HR person and she only works two days a week. What if the old HR person told me wrong?
I can reapply for Medicaid, and I might get it this time as I might be able to even qualify for SSI as my assets have been so spent down – but Medicaid is a sort of trap. It pretty much would prohibit me even more than I am already from trying to earn a little extra on the side. Yet, without additional income, how am I supposed to pay co-pays on 17 meds and medical supplies? It’s a sort of catch 22. Until I get it resolved, I’m going to be a wreck, and I bet the new lady doesn’t work on Fridays…..I probably won’t be able to do anything about this until next week.
I guess this is partly why I feel bla……..sometimes it’s hard knowing nothing in your life will be normal and you have to play these silly government games to just stay healthy. Outsiders don’t understand. They have their careers and buy houses and have kids and do all of these normal things that everyone does, and when you’re not like that, they assume your lazy, or a freak of some sort. It’s hard not to feel inadequate.
I find myself being a bit socially withdrawn for that reason. I know I need to get over it. Bla Bla Bla……
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