Living on the frontlines

What a way to start a Monday morning! We have added four new HPSers to the patient registry. This puts us at 86 to go on the Hundred People Search (H.P.S.) 

Just when I thought the end was in sight of all the tests and specialists visits to try to be listed for transplant (at least for this year); we’ve hit another bump in the road. Thankfully, I am doing very well right now. Sadly, the complications are dental in nature. I hate the dentist. I’d rather have a lung lavage, or even a heart cath, than have dental work. I think it is because for those procedures they give you wonderful drugs. At the dentist, you get a shot which might mitigate some of the pain, but you are still aware of everything going on. You hear the drills. You smell the odors. You have to lie back in the chair (even if they don’t put it back all the way). I breathe better sitting up generally. I always seem to have sinus drainage that sticks in my throat. When they are working on my teeth, I feel like I can’t swallow and all that goo is choking me. Add to this some negative experiences at the dentist, and my anxiety about dentistry is sky high! My bleeding incident in Fe

We have added another patient  to the HPS patient registry. This puts us at 89 to go on the Hundred People Search (HPS). 

This past weekend I was listening to NPR, as I usually do in the mornings. I was half awake, only partly understanding what I heard as I cuddled with Fin and slowly woke up. Scott Simon of Weekend Edition was interviewing the author of Imagine Me Gone, a novel with a theme related to the anxiety experienced by characters. The book is by Adam Haslett. Admittedly, I am not familiar with the book, or the author. Simon read an excerpt from the book as I rolled over to try to fall back asleep. Then, I heard a line that struck me between the eyes. It struck me so strongly that I had to get out of bed and go find paper to write it down so I wouldn’t forget it. Honestly, I can’t even remember what the excerpt was about. It was just this single line that seems to have penetrated my ears. “Anxiety is the relentless need to escape a moment that never ends.” Is it a definition of anxiety? I admit, I tend to lean a bit on the anxious side. It has never been a severe issue, as it is for so man