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The ultimate code brown

This has just not been my week, okay, maybe not even my month. Friday I had an “HPS experience” that isn’t for the weak of stomach – so if you’re eating, probably not the time to read this post.

Friday I had an appointment after work. After the appointment I went to Michaels. Usually Michaels has a therapeutic effect on me. I love the smell of craft stores and I love just walking up and down the aisles imaging all the things I could create.

It’s a dangerous thing as sometimes my creativity is bigger than my wallet and I can get easily carried away.

Well, I must be truly depressed because I got of Michaels and only spent $8.00. I think that’s one for the history books!

As I walked through Michaels I got to feeling a bit dizzy. My blood pressure has been a bit wonky. I’ve had a killer headache for days and days. The acid reflux has been horrible lately. (I think these are all symptoms of stress and not HPS this time around.)

It dawned on me that while I bought lunch, I never really ate much of it. So, I decided to go to Quiznos.

Suddenly while in the line I had to pee. The side effect of one of my medications is that now I pee often, and I get the urge suddenly and badly – a barrel of fun when you’re legally blind and in a strange place desperately looking for a bathroom.

So, I got my sandwich, set it down on a table with my shopping bag, and made a bee line for the bathroom.

When I got there I discovered I was also having bad diarrhea – another thing that’s been a real problem these past few weeks. When I went to “do my ostomy thing” to take care of this problem, the bag – well, it exploded.

It was like a poop bomb going off. There was poo all over me, covering my pants, the floor, the walls – thank God it was a “one holer” bathroom!

I’m a little emotional these days and that was the last straw of the day. I started balling. I got paper towels and proceeded to clean the walls, floor, the public toilet (God knows what bacteria I picked up there!) My pants weren’t just spotted in a few places – they were covered! I had to take them off and wash them in the sink, then wring them out as best I could. Where is one of those hand blowers when you really need one?

I put my pants back on wet. My long sweatshirt covered the worst stains. I had to compose myself, and walk back into the restaurant. Of course, I was miles from home so I had to call a cab, and then wait for it to arrive.

Can you imagine what those Quiznos workers must have been saying after I left? They must have thought I was some sort of homeless person doing my laundry in their bathroom. I think that one ranks right up there with the emergency ostomy change in the stall at work, and the time I had to do it in an airline bathroom. Now there’s a mile high club you really don’t want to know about – trust me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Dear Heather,

My heart goes out to you as I read this post. My Gosh that is so frustrating. Its awful what we HPSers have to go through especially with the GI issues of HPS. I know there have been times where Candice barely made it to the bathroom, and a few times shes had accidents. It can be very overwhelming, but we can't even begin to imagine having an ostomy and doing it all on our own. You are most def one brave woman. Hang in there and feel better real soon.
Love,
Candice & Crystal

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