When did I ever have time to have a full-time job? When I first asked for disability leave everyone advised me to not worry about the long-term plan, to just do nothing but rest for two weeks. I won’t argue that I need two weeks of rest – but I’m still waiting for them to start.
I spent all of last week either turning over projects from work, or on the phone/computer with various social service agencies trying to get all of this paperwork processed. I’m taking a shotgun approach – apply for everything and see what happens. I have a feeling I’ll get to repeat the entire process in another month. I was just over the income limit for several programs because I made a regular salary the first part of Oct. By the end of November, that won’t be a problem.
As for my health, I can say I’m doing better. It took about five days, but my blood pressure has stabilized and is in the normal range. Same with my heart rate. I am still, however, having bad acid reflux, the runs, tummy cramps, some joint pain and I’m having a horrible time sleeping. My ostomy continues to leak several times a week and I can’t even figure out why – the skin actually looks better not worse. And, of course, it has radar. I swear it knows when I’m not home!
I think part of the sleeping problem is related to the reflux. I’ve had such bad reflux for so long now, I think my body is afraid to go to sleep for fear of waking up either with the CPAP on and feeling queasy, or with it off and feeling like that junk is coming up and going into my lungs. It burns and you feel like you can’t breathe. Clearly the acid reflux solution from my last appointment isn’t working. I had a feeling it wouldn’t, but you can’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
I am still tired all the time – big surprise since I can’t sleep.
The first five days or so I was very weepy. I’d go from actually being happy that the ordeal of trying to make things work at work was over, to teary about everything.
I still feel edgy and anxious, but then again I have no idea when I’m going to see any income again, and exactly what it will be. Who wouldn’t feel anxious?
And, I’ve still got headaches daily. I thought they were most likely from the stress and high blood pressure. They are less severe, but they’re still happening.