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Okay, these drugs are kicking my butt!

Concentration has been so hard today. I’m so tired. I keep having to go to the bathroom. I feel drained and weak. Every so often I keep breaking out in a sweat, even though I don’t have a temperature. But, my blood pressure has been good. I should be working on a story, but I’ve got a bad case of writer’s block. The subject matter is technical, and I can’t focus enough right now to do technical.

In the meantime, I thought I might try to overcome my writer’s block by blogging about some of the things on my mind. Perhaps they’re more distracting than I realize.

When I was at NIH with the film crew, they, of course, asked a lot of questions. I was so tired that week (starting to see a theme?) that I don’t remember most of what they asked me. The questions I do remember are the ones I felt I didn’t answer well, or was worried my answers would be misunderstood.

Nicole, the producer, asked me about the HPS sense of community. I can’t quite remember how she put it...it was something to the effect of even though being diagnosed with Hermansky-Pudlak Syndrome isn’t exactly great news, don’t we gain such a great community? (That doesn’t quite do it justice…wish I could remember how she put it exactly.)

It was one of those questions I wasn’t expecting.

It’s true. Those of us with HPS have an incredible sense of community. I count many of the HPS’ers among my closest friends. Even though we live states apart from one another, we’re in constant contact as though we lived next door to one another. We can understand each other in a way that no one else can.

But, (and I hope no one is offended) as much as I truly love my HPS friends, it isn’t worth it. I’d just assume none of us had ever heard of HPS. If I could wave a magic wand and cure us all, but the price would be that we’d never know each other, I’d do it.

Since there is no magic wand, however, I am so grateful that we’ve got each other. I really don’t know how I’d cope without this community we’ve built.

Comments

Unknown said…
Very well put Heather, I couldn't have said it any other way. It would be wonderful not to have to deal with a syndrom at all. However, Since we do have HPS and there isn't anything we can do about it. Its wonderful to know that we have HPS friends who are going through the same thing and can totally relate to what we are going through. Hope all is going well for you. Candice & Crystal
Anonymous said…
Your answer to this is exactly what I would say! As much as I treasure the friendships that have been born out of weird health circumstances, I would rather we were all healthy and didn't know each other. The only gain from this situation that I wouldn't want to give back is an increased sense of compassion for people who deal with health issues and other challenges.

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