Kevin has asked me to start keeping a breathing diary to help us sort out how I’m really feeling. Since Kevin asked, I’ll do it. If Kevin says jump, my answer is how high? But to be honest, I’m not wild about the idea. I think about HPS every day. I have to really work at not obsessing on every little health-related tweak or I’d drive myself insane.
So, you’ll start to notice little updates on this blog. Ignore them if you like – I’m not keeping three journals (this one, my personal one and now a third.)
As for how I’m doing today, after yesterday – well, I don’t know how to describe it. I have the attention span of a nat. It’s sort of like having emotional hives. No matter how much scratching, cream or changing of position you do, there’s no getting comfortable. So you just squirm around trying not to get too uncomfortable in your skin. Yes, yes, I know, the test is probably wrong. And I really wish I could just completely shrug this off. But I can’t, at least not today. So, I keep scratching.
I’ve done nothing productive today besides a load of laundry. I’ve watched three movies, played a few video games (can’t even remember the last time I did that), sent some e-mail, tried to work on the HPS Newsletter with little success, checked my work e-mail etc.
And yes, I spent some time in prayer too – but to be honest, I wouldn’t exactly call it quality time.
It’s as if my brain is twitching and can’t settle.
My big accomplishment for the day was not eating everything in my house. I got out all the stuff to do some baking, and then decided in my current state of mind that probably was a bad idea.
No one seems to be around to go out.
I thought I’d go over to Homers, got dressed – and then decided I really wasn’t up to it. I know a lot of people at Homers, have casual conversations with them, but they’re people from the neighborhood – not family or close friends. I didn’t feel I wanted to talk about this stuff with them, and I didn’t feel up to faking it either.
Donna called this evening to check up on me. That meant a lot. It was very sweet. She knew I’d be fretting, and sure enough I was. My aunt Sheryl called today too. I’m not sure if she realized I was having tests Friday, but it was nice to whine to someone.
So, you’ll start to notice little updates on this blog. Ignore them if you like – I’m not keeping three journals (this one, my personal one and now a third.)
As for how I’m doing today, after yesterday – well, I don’t know how to describe it. I have the attention span of a nat. It’s sort of like having emotional hives. No matter how much scratching, cream or changing of position you do, there’s no getting comfortable. So you just squirm around trying not to get too uncomfortable in your skin. Yes, yes, I know, the test is probably wrong. And I really wish I could just completely shrug this off. But I can’t, at least not today. So, I keep scratching.
I’ve done nothing productive today besides a load of laundry. I’ve watched three movies, played a few video games (can’t even remember the last time I did that), sent some e-mail, tried to work on the HPS Newsletter with little success, checked my work e-mail etc.
And yes, I spent some time in prayer too – but to be honest, I wouldn’t exactly call it quality time.
It’s as if my brain is twitching and can’t settle.
My big accomplishment for the day was not eating everything in my house. I got out all the stuff to do some baking, and then decided in my current state of mind that probably was a bad idea.
No one seems to be around to go out.
I thought I’d go over to Homers, got dressed – and then decided I really wasn’t up to it. I know a lot of people at Homers, have casual conversations with them, but they’re people from the neighborhood – not family or close friends. I didn’t feel I wanted to talk about this stuff with them, and I didn’t feel up to faking it either.
Donna called this evening to check up on me. That meant a lot. It was very sweet. She knew I’d be fretting, and sure enough I was. My aunt Sheryl called today too. I’m not sure if she realized I was having tests Friday, but it was nice to whine to someone.
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