Hack, hack, wheeze, hack, bark bark ….groan. This has been me for the last week. I’ve contracted yet another sinus infection, the third one since the first of the year not counting the three weeks of extreme fatigue that felt like mono, and the stomach flu I had in January. Things that make you go hmmm…..and yes, I do take vitamins. (Everyone asks me this all the time.) My sides ache from the coughing. I feel bruised and sore, as though I’d been hit a few times in the ribs. My voice comes and goes and my throat is scratchy.
This time I didn’t go to the doctor, but if this cough keeps up I’ll have to cave in and do it. If I went to the doctor every time I’m supposed to go to the doctor, according to Kevin at NIH, I’d just quit paying rent on my apartment and take up residence in the waiting room! I feel like I always have something – never serious – just annoying and tiring.
The cough is better today for the first day though. I actually walked three blocks without panting and hacking up a lung. And, I was able to get some sleep last night too. People wonder why I avoid them when they’re coughing! When I say I catch everything, I’m not kidding!
I’ve been avoiding all interaction with people that isn’t necessary in hopes that maybe I’ll get over the bug I have before I catch another one. I haven’t been to church. I haven’t been to camp fire. I gave up babysitting my godchildren this weekend – something I was really looking forward to doing.
I have, however, been to work. I feel like I can’t afford to miss more days. Last weekend mom called and it was obvious I wasn’t feeling well. She asked how the sleep study went etc. I told her how the week had been, and she was dismayed that I’d missed several days of work. “You know Heather,” she said, “I have to go to work sick sometimes. You just have to suck it up.”
I bit my tongue. “You know,” she went on, “That doesn’t look good at work. You could lose your job.”
I bit harder. Man, if she only knew the whole picture. This is why I don’t call home unless things are going very well. Just little things like this sometimes about send me into orbit. As if I don’t think about this every time I don’t feel well. As if I’m not already stressed out about all the work that I’m behind on – thus even when I am home sick I’m still on the computer trying to keep up.
If she were tuned in to the realities of things, she would know I go to work many, many days when I really don’t feel well. I stay home when I think that by doing so I’ll actually get better, when I’m running a high temperature, or when I really just can’t be there because my ostomy is acting up, or my female cycle is so bad that I’m bleeding too much (which isn’t often, thank God.) This past week being a prime case in point. I was already doing everything the doctor would tell me to do, and I didn’t think getting some extra sleep would really help. So, I went to work. I did my interviews even though I spent half of them hacking in some stranger’s ear. I wrote my stories even though my head felt like it was being squeezed.
My entire life revolves around my health insurance. Yes, I know all about sucking it up and pushing on even when you don’t feel well. I do it all the time.
I thought about reminding her about the time I took midterm exams with hemoglobin of six (and aced all of them.) But, what’s the point.
You know how we slackers can be.
This time I didn’t go to the doctor, but if this cough keeps up I’ll have to cave in and do it. If I went to the doctor every time I’m supposed to go to the doctor, according to Kevin at NIH, I’d just quit paying rent on my apartment and take up residence in the waiting room! I feel like I always have something – never serious – just annoying and tiring.
The cough is better today for the first day though. I actually walked three blocks without panting and hacking up a lung. And, I was able to get some sleep last night too. People wonder why I avoid them when they’re coughing! When I say I catch everything, I’m not kidding!
I’ve been avoiding all interaction with people that isn’t necessary in hopes that maybe I’ll get over the bug I have before I catch another one. I haven’t been to church. I haven’t been to camp fire. I gave up babysitting my godchildren this weekend – something I was really looking forward to doing.
I have, however, been to work. I feel like I can’t afford to miss more days. Last weekend mom called and it was obvious I wasn’t feeling well. She asked how the sleep study went etc. I told her how the week had been, and she was dismayed that I’d missed several days of work. “You know Heather,” she said, “I have to go to work sick sometimes. You just have to suck it up.”
I bit my tongue. “You know,” she went on, “That doesn’t look good at work. You could lose your job.”
I bit harder. Man, if she only knew the whole picture. This is why I don’t call home unless things are going very well. Just little things like this sometimes about send me into orbit. As if I don’t think about this every time I don’t feel well. As if I’m not already stressed out about all the work that I’m behind on – thus even when I am home sick I’m still on the computer trying to keep up.
If she were tuned in to the realities of things, she would know I go to work many, many days when I really don’t feel well. I stay home when I think that by doing so I’ll actually get better, when I’m running a high temperature, or when I really just can’t be there because my ostomy is acting up, or my female cycle is so bad that I’m bleeding too much (which isn’t often, thank God.) This past week being a prime case in point. I was already doing everything the doctor would tell me to do, and I didn’t think getting some extra sleep would really help. So, I went to work. I did my interviews even though I spent half of them hacking in some stranger’s ear. I wrote my stories even though my head felt like it was being squeezed.
My entire life revolves around my health insurance. Yes, I know all about sucking it up and pushing on even when you don’t feel well. I do it all the time.
I thought about reminding her about the time I took midterm exams with hemoglobin of six (and aced all of them.) But, what’s the point.
You know how we slackers can be.
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