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Living in the clouds

Wouldn’t it just figure that after a day of barely being able to function, it’s almost midnight and I feel the best I’ve felt all day – alert and not as though I’m living in the clouds.

I skipped church tonight just to take a bit of the pressure off and give me a bit of time to lie around. But, we’ve got several grants for the HPS Network due, and they’re too big a funding opportunity to be caught lounging around. Donna has been stuck with most of the work, despite my many promises to help, and I feel terrible. I feel doubly terrible because I know how much she’s done for all of us when she was way too ill to be working.

Today I finally broke down and made a doctor’s appointment to go in and whine about my fatigue. Not only am I not due for a visit for another month, but I dread going to the doctor with the simple complaint that “I’m tired.” I have a feeling he’ll ask me a few questions, tell me I have a virus and to quit doing so much, pat me on the head, and send me home. That’s especially frustrating because not only is it not terribly helpful, but it costs me $20 each way and at the minimum a half a day off work to go to the doctor. I don’t show up for every runny nose and ache and pain (although NIH would probably tell me I should). But, the fatigue, coupled with a couple of dizzy spells in recent days – well, it just doesn’t feel right. Watch me be perfectly fine by Friday!

Yet, this isn’t a normal tired. I can plug through a normal tired. But today, I barely accomplished the simplest of tasks because my brain just wouldn’t function. I felt limp all day and just longed to go lay down somewhere.

Of course, at moments like this, when I’m feeling alert and awake, I feel like a big hypochondriac wimp!

Over the years I’ve had mono twice, and that’s how I feel, minus the sore throat and enlarged spleen.

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Wow! A reader!!! Still needs a new title though.

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