It doesn’t seem possible, but it seems I caught yet another cold. For the past three days I’ve been feeling like I was hit by a truck. I had a horrible sinus headache. Even my teeth and cheeks hurt from the sinus pressure. I had a runny nose and very, very sore throat. And, I had a fever. Last night the cough set in again.
I was having a very hard time staying hydrated, which I’ve noticed, seems to make it even harder to regulate my blood pressure. Even though I was drinking lots of water, it’s as though the water just went right through me.
This afternoon I feel as though I’m emerging from the fog again. I’m also feeling incredibly frustrated given the long list of things I have to do. Yes, I know, that’s the point of being on disability – to not have deadlines anymore. The trouble is I take my self-imposed deadlines just as seriously as I ever took magazine deadlines. When I get behind I feel frustrated.
The funny thing about being under the weather is that it’s the one time I also feel depressed – as in pull-the-covers-over-my-head-and-go-away depressed. I guess it’s because I don’t feel productive, not to mention I just don’t feel good. But perhaps feeling as though you can do nothing but lay in bed and think is also part of the problem.
I’m grateful the wireless connection was behaving rather well and I could watch some TV shows and movies on Netflix. It was a nice distraction from all the other thoughts going through my head. I turned off the phones and drifted in and out of sleep. I did set an alarm to be sure I woke up to drink as the last time I got sick I really think I was pushing the dehydration envelope.
As the insurance company and the government each try to decide if I’m really able to work full time and if I’m really deserving of benefits, I can’t help but imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t decided to ask for disability.
It’s not even the end of January, and I estimate that had I still been working, I would have already used all of my sick days and a third of my days off for the year – and the month isn’t over yet.
I was having a very hard time staying hydrated, which I’ve noticed, seems to make it even harder to regulate my blood pressure. Even though I was drinking lots of water, it’s as though the water just went right through me.
This afternoon I feel as though I’m emerging from the fog again. I’m also feeling incredibly frustrated given the long list of things I have to do. Yes, I know, that’s the point of being on disability – to not have deadlines anymore. The trouble is I take my self-imposed deadlines just as seriously as I ever took magazine deadlines. When I get behind I feel frustrated.
The funny thing about being under the weather is that it’s the one time I also feel depressed – as in pull-the-covers-over-my-head-and-go-away depressed. I guess it’s because I don’t feel productive, not to mention I just don’t feel good. But perhaps feeling as though you can do nothing but lay in bed and think is also part of the problem.
I’m grateful the wireless connection was behaving rather well and I could watch some TV shows and movies on Netflix. It was a nice distraction from all the other thoughts going through my head. I turned off the phones and drifted in and out of sleep. I did set an alarm to be sure I woke up to drink as the last time I got sick I really think I was pushing the dehydration envelope.
As the insurance company and the government each try to decide if I’m really able to work full time and if I’m really deserving of benefits, I can’t help but imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t decided to ask for disability.
It’s not even the end of January, and I estimate that had I still been working, I would have already used all of my sick days and a third of my days off for the year – and the month isn’t over yet.
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