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Bah-humbug

One side effect of being so tired all the time is that, well to put it nicely, I tend to get grouchy. If I weren’t trying to be family friendly, I could think of a better word for it. That would pretty much sum up me right now – irritable.

I caught the early bus home from work. Why not? It wasn’t like I was getting anything done.

Blogging is easy. I can blog dead tired, well, maybe not as well as I would if I were awake – but I can fake it. Writing something a bit more technical and dry, or worse trying to edit it, is something different, especially when you’re a bit bleary-eyed.

The problem is compounded now as the once empty cubes surrounding me have been filled up with new employees hired to sell advertising for a new product our company is launching.

Editorial and sales just don’t mix. They aren’t selling my magazine. It isn’t a conflict of interest thing. They are all perfectly nice people. In fact, the two women across the aisle from me I especially like, although I haven’t been able to be very social with them. But, sales people, not surprisingly, sell. They’re on the phone constantly. They chat a LOT. Their cell phones, and their desk phones, ring all day long.

I did once work in a newsroom, and newsrooms tend to be loud, but it’s sort of a dull roar. Everyone is busy all the time and the noises sort of melt together into a kind of white noise. Occasionally you realize the reporter on the other side of you is onto something especially juicy, and you can’t help but get sucked into their conversations – but on the whole that wasn’t bad.

This is different. Because there are only a handful of these sales people, and because the rest of the area is quiet, it’s as if suddenly I’m sharing my cube with other people – as if they’re standing there chatting away right next to me as I’m trying to concentrate.

If I weren’t so tired, I could more easily block it out. But I am tired, and did I mention grouchy?

I’m in the mood to have a tantrum. I feel obligated to take work home because I was so unproductive during the day. But, I’ve got other things to do when I get home besides make up for things I should have accomplished on the clock. I just pray I feel better in the morning.

If I weren’t on the verge of an NIH trip, I’d go get some blood work done. But, since I’m trying to get out of town, I really don’t want to take a half day off to go ask for some blood work.

I’ve got an appointment next week with the immunologist. The last time I saw him it took three and a half hours. I don’t think it will be as long this time, but let’s just say all of my doctor time slots are filled. He and I need to chat about my medications.

I also can’t rule out that it isn’t something in my blood work at all. Given the past few months, heck the past few years, I think I’m entitled to a little mental exhaustion, thank you very much!

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