Friday I went into the office even though I had the day off. I’ve missed so much work this past month and I was back from NIH and felt pretty good – so I went. It was a quiet day as there was hardly anyone there. And the people that were there weren’t doing much of anything but standing around and talking. It gave me a chance, however, to at least catch up on my work e-mail. That took until past noon!
Today I’ve been home all day. I intentionally am spending the holidays alone so I can catch up on all the things that I’m behind on or that are overwhelming me. That’s the trouble with missing so much work for the drug trial and health stuff (not that I’m not thrilled to do it) – I never get time off to do simple things like clean, or sort, or file. So often on weeknights I’m just too tired, and if I’m not too tired I’m working on freelance work or HPS work. It feels sometimes like I’m not thriving in my life – I’m just surviving it. I’m just doing what I’ve got to do to keep my head above water.
So, my Christmas gift to myself was to be getting my personal business under control so I don’t constantly feel so stressed out and overwhelmed by it.
I had planned to put up my Christmas tree today finally, but decided against it. I didn’t want to waste the hours I needed to catch up on the tree that I’d only be trying to find time to take down in a week. It looks as though next weekend I may have company, and thus I’m under the gun that much more with this precious time off. Oddly enough missing out on the tree has me more bummed than spending Christmas alone.
It doesn’t seem much like Christmas. I so love the preparation of Christmas – the getting ready for a special time. But, since I don’t have a single vacation day coming, probably for years, I really, really need to maximize these few days.
People just don’t understand. I don’t know why, but I get so tired sometimes so easily. Tasks that I once I did easily on a Saturday morning now take me all day. And sometimes I’ve got to choose between them and seeing friends or running errands. I just can’t do it all and there’s something always nawing at me undone.
Today I bagged half of the fall leaves from my patio. I hadn’t raked them up from the fall thinking I’d wait until all the fall leaves fell so I could do it all at once. But, then I got sick and never had the energy to do them. I did half before my asthma-like stuff kicked in, which is pretty good. It’s a further illustration, however, of why I’ll never be able to care for a yard. A little patio is almost more than I can handle. I dusted the living room, cleaned out the fridge, cleaned half the bathroom (had to stop because the cleaner oder was getting to me) and I did three loads of laundry. I took some things downstairs to storage and threw out several boxes of stuff. (There’s much more where that came from!) I worked on filing a bit, but there’s much more of that to do as well.
I also made a batch of fudge (but only ate one piece) and two dozen cookies. I thought I might need them next weekend. I still have so much to do though. Oh how I dream of nothing but a week in my own house with my own music to get everything completely clean. How wonderful it would be to have just a few days to do nothing but write and paint. I only half finished the painting I was working on in the hospital and who knows when I’ll find the time to finish it.
Today I’ve been home all day. I intentionally am spending the holidays alone so I can catch up on all the things that I’m behind on or that are overwhelming me. That’s the trouble with missing so much work for the drug trial and health stuff (not that I’m not thrilled to do it) – I never get time off to do simple things like clean, or sort, or file. So often on weeknights I’m just too tired, and if I’m not too tired I’m working on freelance work or HPS work. It feels sometimes like I’m not thriving in my life – I’m just surviving it. I’m just doing what I’ve got to do to keep my head above water.
So, my Christmas gift to myself was to be getting my personal business under control so I don’t constantly feel so stressed out and overwhelmed by it.
I had planned to put up my Christmas tree today finally, but decided against it. I didn’t want to waste the hours I needed to catch up on the tree that I’d only be trying to find time to take down in a week. It looks as though next weekend I may have company, and thus I’m under the gun that much more with this precious time off. Oddly enough missing out on the tree has me more bummed than spending Christmas alone.
It doesn’t seem much like Christmas. I so love the preparation of Christmas – the getting ready for a special time. But, since I don’t have a single vacation day coming, probably for years, I really, really need to maximize these few days.
People just don’t understand. I don’t know why, but I get so tired sometimes so easily. Tasks that I once I did easily on a Saturday morning now take me all day. And sometimes I’ve got to choose between them and seeing friends or running errands. I just can’t do it all and there’s something always nawing at me undone.
Today I bagged half of the fall leaves from my patio. I hadn’t raked them up from the fall thinking I’d wait until all the fall leaves fell so I could do it all at once. But, then I got sick and never had the energy to do them. I did half before my asthma-like stuff kicked in, which is pretty good. It’s a further illustration, however, of why I’ll never be able to care for a yard. A little patio is almost more than I can handle. I dusted the living room, cleaned out the fridge, cleaned half the bathroom (had to stop because the cleaner oder was getting to me) and I did three loads of laundry. I took some things downstairs to storage and threw out several boxes of stuff. (There’s much more where that came from!) I worked on filing a bit, but there’s much more of that to do as well.
I also made a batch of fudge (but only ate one piece) and two dozen cookies. I thought I might need them next weekend. I still have so much to do though. Oh how I dream of nothing but a week in my own house with my own music to get everything completely clean. How wonderful it would be to have just a few days to do nothing but write and paint. I only half finished the painting I was working on in the hospital and who knows when I’ll find the time to finish it.
Comments