It’s been a completely uneventful day today. I slept very late. Then I got out of bed, plopped onto the couch, and slept some more. I did manage to do some cooking for the next week, a load of laundry and to pay the bills. I was supposed to have a cleaning blitz today though.
My apartment should be nick named “the pit.” I’ve put off all but the most basic housework for several weeks now as I tried to work on extra freelance stories and this silly fundraiser that was a flop. Today was the day to get caught up, but I just couldn’t do it.
On days like today I just feel so frustrated. Why am I so tired? It isn’t my CPAP. It isn’t that I didn’t get plenty of sleep. It isn’t even that I’m not feeling well for some reason. I’m just tired, really tired, and all I want to do is sleep.
But, as I look around my apartment at the mess I can hardly stand it, and I feel so guilty, so lazy, that I just can’t seem to get my carcass into high gear and dust and mop and vacuum for very long before I’m once again overwhelmed by how tired I feel. What is this?????
I was also feeling a little emotional today. Is it depression? I don’t really feel depressed. But sometimes, out of the blue, it feels like my life just catches up with me. I think in the heat of an HPS crisis (mine or anyone else’s) I couldn’t cope if I just fell apart. Thus, when things are going relatively well, suddenly out of the blue, it hits me.
I don’t have a freelance assignment this week, so maybe I can spend a little of every evening catching up on my house. Of course, if the phone rings tomorrow and dangles the right amount of money in front of me, I probably won’t turn it down.
My apartment should be nick named “the pit.” I’ve put off all but the most basic housework for several weeks now as I tried to work on extra freelance stories and this silly fundraiser that was a flop. Today was the day to get caught up, but I just couldn’t do it.
On days like today I just feel so frustrated. Why am I so tired? It isn’t my CPAP. It isn’t that I didn’t get plenty of sleep. It isn’t even that I’m not feeling well for some reason. I’m just tired, really tired, and all I want to do is sleep.
But, as I look around my apartment at the mess I can hardly stand it, and I feel so guilty, so lazy, that I just can’t seem to get my carcass into high gear and dust and mop and vacuum for very long before I’m once again overwhelmed by how tired I feel. What is this?????
I was also feeling a little emotional today. Is it depression? I don’t really feel depressed. But sometimes, out of the blue, it feels like my life just catches up with me. I think in the heat of an HPS crisis (mine or anyone else’s) I couldn’t cope if I just fell apart. Thus, when things are going relatively well, suddenly out of the blue, it hits me.
I don’t have a freelance assignment this week, so maybe I can spend a little of every evening catching up on my house. Of course, if the phone rings tomorrow and dangles the right amount of money in front of me, I probably won’t turn it down.
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