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An ostomy moment

I haven’t had too much ostomy trauma in a while, so I guess I’m due for a dose. This evening I went to the Tuesday night service at church. I like it much better than the Sunday service, and I’m usually much more awake. Grin! But, this week Pastor Pat was out of town, and so we were left to watch a video.

It was actually quite a good video. It was the story of the crucifixion from the point of view of one of the Roman soldiers. The trouble was we were watching it on a TV perched on top of one of those tall TV carts they use in schools.

I couldn’t see a thing.

One of the ladies sitting in the front graciously offered me her seat and I accepted it. As the movie started, and I was trying to watch it with my monocular, it became clear this wasn’t working. The monocular was getting a lot of glare from the screen, and there’s no way my arm was up to holding the monocular up to my eye for an hour.

So, never being afraid to reposition myself as needed, I pushed a chair right up in front of the TV. I figured it was high enough I wasn’t going to block anyone’s view – so I sat perched directly under the screen.

Just as I started to settle, I felt a woosh followed by feeling of moisture. My heart sank. I knew my ostomy had sprung a leak.

The trouble was now I had perched myself dead center of the room in front of everyone. There was no graceful exit to be had. If, after all of my seating effort, I suddenly just got up and left, I knew I would create a scene. Everyone would want to know why I was leaving. The pleading to let someone drive me home would ensue – I was stuck.

Throughout the entire film all I could do was sit there and pray, “Oh Lord, when this film is over and I stand up, please don’t let poop run down my legs. Please Lord, do me a favor? Please don’t let this thing start leaking through my clothes!”

What to do? To go, or not to go? Pastor Pat knows I have these problems. I’ve warned her that if ever I get up and leave in the middle of a service, not to be alarmed or worried. These things just happen sometimes and I need to leave.

But Pastor Pat was gone, and I really didn’t want to disrupt the entire proceedings to explain my personal problem.

So I sat there – miserable – just waiting for my opportunity to bolt.

When the film was over, and we’d said our closing prayer, I was out of there. No chit chatting, have-a-nice-week stuff. I’m sure some thought I was rude. There are a lot of times I know people misconstrue why I sometimes do things the way I do – if only people could just let go a bit and cut others in their lives a little slack. If it seems like someone does something a little odd, there just might be a good reason for it.

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